If you have trouble having a smooth conversation which can be helpful, supportive and encouraging enough, you need to go through these rules.
Show Genuine Interest:
If you want to be a great conversationalist, you need to genuinely be interest in whoever you are having the conversation with. You should show more concern about that person, get to know more that person through the conversation. Showing genuine interest in someone while talking to them shows how much you care about them. There is a sense of trust and respect developed on both sides.
Converse, Not Debate:
While talking to them, you should always make sure you are conversing with them and not debating. Don’t cross the line and start a debate with them. An argument is not a conversation. There can be many differences between you and them, but it does not mean you hold those differences as your defense in a debate. You don’t have to prove anyone right or wrong. You just got to listen to them and understand them. So keep the conversation smooth by not converting it into a debate.
Focus On The Positives:
Try talking about the positive things. Focus more on the positive things in the conversation, emphasize more on the positive picture and positive topics to converse and discuss. Avoid negative topics as it can cause some people to build up walls immediately so they don’t open up. If you want to earn somebody’s trust, you have to do it through positive conversations. So they can feel at ease and open up easily, also positive topics encourage them into doing good and better.
Respect Their Opinions:
Not everyone has same views and opinions about things and situations like we do. Everyone has a different opinion. You have to learn to respect how they view something, what their opinions are about it, because it’s how they perceive it. Maybe you perceive it differently but it does not mean you impose your opinions on them. Or criticize their views and opinions. Or worse, judge them for having such perspective about things. You need to respect their space and their right to view things the way it seems right to them. Everyone cannot think alike. So respect others opinions while conversing.
Put The Person In Their Best Light:
Make sure while conversing you out the person in their best light. This means you make them feel good. You give them their time and space to digest and trust you and open up. Once you make them feel comfortable with your talking they will open up. They will feel good about talking to you, or keeping the conversation going. At times, people pick on others while conversing and then be defensive about it saying they were trying to help them feel better. But it’s not the right way. Before you can earn their trust you have to get them in confidence by genuinely making them feel better and good.
Be True To Yourself:
This rule is important as it will leave a good impression of you on others. You have to be true to yourself while conversing by being truthful, by sharing your own thoughts and not just mimicking others. Some people try to impress others, so they speak lies about themselves or make up thoughts to mimic others when in reality they disagree with them. Such people may win the spotlight at the moment but mostly their lies are seen through them and they ruin their impression in front of them. So do yourself a favor and be true to yourself.
Embrace The Differences:
There are going to be many differences between you and them, embrace these differences while building conversation on commonalities. Don’t judge them for their differences. If they have different perspectives, always agree to disagree where you have different thoughts on something. Real conversations happen only when you talk without picking each other on their differences.
A good conversation is kept going only when both the parties share. You don’t have to only let them share and speak about everything while you hold back all your things. At the same time you should not even dominate them by talking all about yourself and not letting them share their stories. To be a great conversationalist you have know that sharing comes from both sides. A conversation has to have fifty per cent you sharing and fifty per cent them sharing, that is how you can have a good and trustworthy bond made.
Ask Purposeful Questions:
Asking questions in a conversation is a must, it shows that you are interested in talking to them or keeping the conversation positively alive, but at the same time, don’t be too clingy by asking too many unnecessary questions that can annoy the person and may want to end the conversation. Your questions should be purposeful, they should be meaningful. Meaningful questions give rise to meaningful answers, thus giving you a meaningful conversation. You should encourage asking questions like, “what inspired you to make this change?” “Currently, what are your goals in life?” “What do you want to do to make life better for others?” Such questions can have great impact on them, and make them think positively.
Give And Take:
Your conversation should not only be giving or taking. Like said about sharing, it should be a balance of both giving and take. Both parties should exchange their life experiences, advises, stories, problems. This give and take helps create a bond where if you have a problem, they might have the solution. If they have a problem, maybe you can advise them better. A conversation should always be give and take because cooperation on both parties should be observed. Both parties should equally emotionally invest in the conversation.
Tell us in the comments section down below if you have any more rules for being a great conversationalist. We would really appreciate if you share with us your experiences on how this helped you out.